Weep, Remember, Live

As many of you know this has been a very rough summer for me and my family. Not long after losing my cousin in Afghanistan, we lost a dear family friend to cancer. All in all, it's safe to say that I'm glad the summer is over and I'm looking forward to starting fresh this fall. It seems like every time I think I'm done crying, I'm not. I have never had to deal with death before, at least not of anyone this close, and then times it by two... wow, I'm emotionally spent.

Something that has helped me tremendously are words spoken at my cousin's graveside service. They were given as a benediction of sorts and I honestly feel like it was directly responsible for starting me off on the path of healing. (Which is proving to be a much long and tougher road that I ever expected.) I contacted the Chaplain, Chaplain (Colonel) Larry McCarty, and asked him for his exact wording, and while I still think that the three words; Weep, Remember, Live, are powerful in and of themselves, having the extra explanation in there just adds to it, and makes it even MORE memorable.

Weep — Jesus wept and so must you. Weep, grieve by leaning on your family, friends and above all your faith. 2 Corinthians 1:2-4 teaches that as we weep, the God of Comfort and Father of Mercies will hold us close. And He will give us the strength to one day help others who are going through the same storms of life.

Remember — Hold on to the precious memories. Cling to them. Never let them go. Remember the precious promises of God, promises like John 14:1-3 (see bottom of post for verse.)

Live — Live life fully. Seize the day. For life is a precious, fragile gift from God. Live your life fighting the good fight of faith and finishing strong. 2 Timothy 4:6-8 (see bottom of post for verse.)

I know it's going to be a long long road, and certain things like my guilty pleasure of Lifetime's "Army Wives" will never be the same, nor will a show like "The Big C" (a COMEDY about a women living with cancer) ever really seem funny to me.

Another part of the healing process for me was getting my first and probably only tattoo. It's to replace the prayer bracelet that I wore during his deployments, until it broke during his last one. (I know, I don't even wanna think about the "omen" that turned out to be, good thing I don't believe in those! Anyway...) It was much bigger than I originally intended but the more it heals, the more it "grows" on me. It makes me feel like there is no chance I could ever forget, it's hard to explain really, it just makes me feel like his memory will always be with me... everyday. I hope that every time I see it I will be reminded to pray for Brian's wife, brothers and mom. I know it will be harder for them than I can even imagine!

So in the words of Chaplain McCarty, I'm gonna Weep, Remember and Live (repeat)

(“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” John 14:1-3)

(For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” 2 Timothy 4:6-8)

My cousin, my Hero!!

On July 19th, I lost my cousin and friend Sgt. Brian Piercy. He was fighting for our freedom over in Afghanistan.

(handsome huh?)

My dad was the one who told me, and ever since I have been filled with every sort of emotion you can think of. Sorrow, angry, numbness, denial, guilt, even hatred. Acceptance comes for a few seconds and then goes just about as fast as it came. He was a good man, he IS a good man. Its funny, I can say "was" but typing it seems odd, too permanent maybe. This first picture of just him and I makes my heart hurt. I can only look at it so long before I realize that I'll never get to hug him again. It's just weird.

Brian, his twin brother Eric and I are only 4 months apart and we have always gotten along really well. They lived a few hours away but we always got together for Christmas or Easter or family weddings as well as a few other times a year, We were always getting in to some sort of trouble... always fun for us, but trouble for our folks. As we got older we saw each other a little less until high school when our busy schedules finally matched up. It always seemed like it was only 2 of the 3 though. (Brian and Eric have a younger brother Kevin) Either Brian and Kevin or Kevin and Eric, but rarely all 3. (THOSE times were and are extra special)
One time in particular it was just Brian and Kevin and we were board and watching T.V. I think Brian was channel surfing and as we were passing a certain channel Kevin screams out "OOH!! UNCLE BUCK!!" Brian and I looked at each other and in confusion and then BUSTED UP laughing. I mean seriously, Uncle Buck?? (not saying it's not a good movie, it's just that it didn't seem to warrant THAT amount of enthusiasm.) And that was the first time we laughed so hard together it hurt! It seemed like every time we saw each other after that we laughed until it hurt. I've never laughed so hard, with someone so often in all my life. I will always have that with him, always.The other thing about that trip that stands out is that for some unknown reason, our parents sent us to the corner market for snacks, or maybe we just went on our own, I don't remember. All I know is that some how we ended up buying Dreyers Scooby Snacks ice cream as a joke which turned out to be our new FAVORITE ice cream flavor. We would talk about it all the time, as well as Uncle Buck and to this day I do not see that movie with out thinking about Brian and Kevin.
I have never had to deal with death. Most of my family members who have died, died either before I was born, before I could remember anything OR where on the older side and were "ready to go". This was not like that. He was taken from us, it was someones fault. I know that he did not suffer, and that he died doing what he loved and I do find some comfort in that. But for the most part this is still very foreign to me.
One of my favorite pictures! (Not only cause my jacket was AWESOME (purple corduroy!) but because it was all of us together!)

It was very rare that we were ALL together at the same time, like I said it was usually Kevin and one of the twins, I think that's why I love this one.

Back in 2006 Brian married Christina, and she made him happier than I'd ever seen him. They are a perfect match. Please pray for her as she grieves the loss of her best friend and sole mate. I can only imagine what she's going through.

THIS photo (sorry, there's been a lot I know) was taken 6 days before his death, he was apparently giving orders to his squad, which I think is very cool. I love looking at it cause when I do I see strength, courage, and confidence. I see a hero. Brain was my hero and even though sometimes I don't understand why or who he was fighting, I know that he was fighting for what he believed in. I miss him terribly.

Just what I've always wanted!

This Mother's Day was AMAZING! It started out with Lori bringing me my travel coffee mug, with a NEW insert that she and Jorge made. It was the most wonderful thing I've ever seen! In all honesty it was. As you all know I am a pretty crafty person, and having worked at a school, I was the one who made all the crafts and gifts for kids to give there moms. In the back of my mind, I always thought I'd be the one makin' my own keepsake crafts with Lori. But Jorge did it for me. Now all she did was "color" a little part of it, but still, it was so special! He even have Davey a crayon and had him help a little too!


David's part is the purple on the right and Lori's in the red. (Jorge helped her write her name, she's not THAT advanced)

Then we went to church where I received a rose for being the mom of one of the youngest babies in the service. :)


After church we all came home for peanut butter and honey sandwiches and while eating lunch our neighbor came over and said he was going to have our backyards mowed and edged as a gift for me for mother's day!! Isn't that awesome? I thought so! :)

The rest of the day went like this, Lori took a nap while Jorge watched the Cubs game and Davey and I stepped out for a bit. When I got in my car I heard the familiar sounds of the Glee soundtrack that Jorge had slipped in to my CD player which hadn't worked in MONTHS!! He totally surprised me, which trust me, is very hard to do. We drove to the used book store, the Goodwill and Micheals, just cause I wanted to. Once we got home, we all drop to the Super Target where we met up with my sister and her family for "Frappy Hour" (1/2 priced frappacinos) and the Starbucks there. After THAT, (wow this is turning out to be a rather packed day isn't it?) we went for a walk with my sister and her family, and our good friends the Kuykendalls. Then came home, put the kids down and had pizza! It was great!

Silly with Celine

A few months back there was a Celine Dion concert on T.V and (don't judge me) I watched it... again. (Yes again... don't judge, she's awesome!) Anyway, chalk it up to being loopy from lack of sleep from having a new baby, but I got a little silly when she sang "My Heart Will Go On" Lori thought is was hilarious... her squeals were just too funny, so I had to ham it up a little more so we could get it on film. It seems to work.

enjoy!

*sorry for the poor quality of video, it was filmed on a cell phone. :(

"Diaper Diaries"

I've finally done it! I said I was going to do it and I did! I am now a user of cloth diapers. Well, I AM not using them, but I'm using them on David. I only had 3 up to start cause I wanted to try it out and make sure I really wanted to use them. And I DID! On Monday I went to a store called Nurtured Family (see link on the right) and got the rest of my "stash", 12 in all. Tuesday was the first day that I used them ALL day and I really enjoyed it, as much as one can "enjoy" diapers I suppose.

I was so excited that I contacted the mom website that I am involved with and pitched an idea of a weekly blog about my adventures in cloth diapers. They LOVED the idea so today they posted my first blog post. I feel so accomplished. It's also got me thinking about doing more writing, i.e product reviews and stuff like that. Who would have thought that cloth diapers could make me want to be a writer. (I use the term loosely of course, and I don't actually know if I want to be a WRITER but I definitely want to do more writing.)

Here's the link to my first post... Diaper Diaries: a first timers adventure in cloth diapers. I'm actually finding that I have so much to say that I'm tempted to make it more than once a week. For those of you who are interested in hearing/learning more about cloth diapers, I'd love to hear your feed back as far as any questions you may have that you would want me to answer or look in to for you.

So now you can all follow me on Momslikeme.com as well as here. Isn't that special? :)

and the belly grows...

Here's the last belly pictures from the last two weeks. "Numero Dos" is becoming VERY active. He kicks A LOT which is new to me cause, believe it or not, Lori never did. She would move around but never kicked me like her brother has. This makes me a little nervous since according to Baby Center he's 11 inches long and only a maximum of 1 lb... so what will his kicks and punches feel like when he's 4 lbs? Yipes, I cringe at the thought.

21 weeks

22 weeks

and just for fun... this is how "big" I was at 22 weeks with Lori...

Secret Shopping

No, I'm not referring to going to the mall without telling your husband, I'm talking about the market research tool used to measure the quality of service or to gain other "insider" information that can only be obtained by pretending to be a customer. In my case I was a secret shopper for Chevron's Delo Oil. My job was to, along with another guy, call 105 different O.E (Original Equipment, I believe) Truck Dealers and pose as an owner of a fleet of trucks. This in and of itself seemed funny to me, not that I am completely incompitant when it comes to trucks and all that, but I certainly don't know enough to make someone believe that I am an OWNER of a small fleet of 25 trucks. (25 trucks sounds like a pretty large fleet if you ask me, but I digress...) I was glad these were done over the phone, lets just say that. My goal was to call these places and ask them to recommend an engine oil and hope that they recommend Delo L.E or Delo 400. If they did they would be rewarded with a 25 dollar gift card to Chevron/Texaco gas stations, and if they did not I would send them an consolation prize of a Delo hat. (these are truckers after all.) I was given seven scripts, each specific to the certain kind of truck that that particular company was selling and that was where the fun began...
Here is a sample of a script that I was to repeat... almost 50 times.

Hi, can I speak to a service manager or service writer please? ... I'm looking for a recommendation on engine oil for my fleet. I have a small fleet of 25 international trucks with 15 catapillar 3406 engines and 10 Cummins ISX engines. I am planning to order 5 new trucks with the new MX engine. Is there a single dessil motor oil that will work in my entire fleet and is good to use with Ultra Low Sulfur dissel?

That was mouthfull to say the least, after a while I was beginning to believe this myself. I was on a roll and having fun. But there were a few times when they would ask me a question and I would have to say I was just the the front desk person to explain my incompitance on the subject of which I was supposed to be a pro, this seemed to work, for the most part. One time someone asked me who I was with before they would transfer me to and I stuttered for a while and then answered "Hernandez Trucking" A simple white lie, but it turned out for the best because that company recommended Delo 400 to me and were rewarded.

I really enjoyed calling all over the country and got a laugh when I called Massachusetts. "Fowr suyvice press fowr" It was funny to hear all the different accents all in one day. All in all it was a really interesting job.

*For the record, this is NOT a full time thing, I'm just lucky enough to be able to get a few random temp jobs in order to help out the family. I'll keep you posted on my job situation as well as Jorge's in the next few weeks.

'till next time...

Ad"ventures" in Etsy.com

What do you get when you cross stay at home moms with crafty entrepreneurs? You get Etsy.com, an online market place devoted to selling solely handmade items. It's not unlike Ebay.com, just without the bidding and second hand junk aspect. I kind of stumbled across this site while looking for my cousin's homemade diaper covers online. She was selling them on Etsy and found myself really intrigued by this creative site with a strange name. (The origins of the name are unknown.)

A few weeks later I had grown tired of looking for Lori's burp cloths because they were stark white and seemed to blend in with everything. I decided that I should sew some ribbon and maybe a soft piece of fabric on them so that they would stand out. They didn't look half bad. So I kept going, I dyed them, got nicer ribbons, and added new fabric. Then I realized that I had an extra Cubs emblem from a T-Shirt that I got for Jorge's T-Shirt quilt and from then on I was ON A ROLL! It took me a while to realize that it might be a good idea to see if I could sell these on Etsy. I love sewing and doing lots (and I do mean lots, probably too many for my own good) of crafty things, so why not try to make some extra cash while I was at it?

The Cubs Burp Cloth

I am yet to make a sale, but that's ok. I was getting discouraged but Jorge has been so supportive that I haven't really considered giving up. For the first time I really feel like Jorge is in this with me and that feels great. I really enjoy the days that Jorge comes home from work and I get to show him my latest project.

So that's the newest with me. I've posted a link to my new Etsy site so that you can see what kind of things I've been making. I'm "looking to expand my repertoire" (don't I sound professional already?) so if you have any ideas I'd LOVE to hear 'em. I'm always up for a new craft project!